This is “4th of July Weekend” in Mexico. Happy Mexican Independence Day everyone! The weather is cloudy and comfortable again, after several hot and muggy days. Afternoon thundershowers today and yesterday, including a rainfall that thoroughly soaked me on my way home from the bus stop yesterday after work.

Today was a typical weekend day: coffee shop in the morning while Robin slept in late, then playing around the apartment all day with Enid, with one trip out for shopping. It always starts off fun, but by mid-afternoon I begin to lose energy while Enid does not, and by late afternoon it is essentially a test of endurance. How horrible to get to such a point of exhaustion that you can’t enjoy the company of your own child, especially one as fun, charming and well-behaved as Enid. But being the primary playmate of a three-year-old all day long is just too much for any adult. Especially one carrying around the kind of sleep debt that I am.

She gets tired too, but doesn’t recognize or admit it. It becomes obvious though as her attention span dwindles and she gets increasingly manic and loopy. Just about the time I am too tired for active play and really need her to focus on a simple, structured activity (like a game or coloring book) she has gotten to a point of tiredness that those activities are impossible for her. Instead she devolves into Brownian motion and an endless, shifting stream of consciousness narration that leaves one thought echoing through my weary mind: SHUT UP ALREADY! I become increasingly edgy and short-tempered, and finally enjoy the wonderful experience of having one half of my brain castigate the other for such lack of forbearance and for taking all my blessings for granted and for not appreciating my wonderful daughter, etcetera, etcetera, and then I pin the “World’s Shittiest Dad” medal on my own chest and go searching for alcohol.

But then finally the light appears at the end of the tunnel and her bedtime arrives. An hour of brushing teeth and reading stories and singing lullabies, and then it’s over. Next morning, far too early, I get up and do it again. Amen.